who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize