maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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