We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
