How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
