Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
