No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
