she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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