I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize