So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
