If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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