I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i came on her dog
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
