i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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