physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
