So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We named our party play list daddy issues
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
