There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
