So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
