I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Randomize