If i could tip my vagina, i would.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
