hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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