you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Randomize
