im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
worst night to have a conscience
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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