Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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