Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
