the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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