If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
