so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
