I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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