Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
