did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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