I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
