Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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