My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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