I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
