I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize