please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
home. puking in laundry basket.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
