You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
