Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
How external is "for external use only"?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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