Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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