I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
