i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
