we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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