just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I had to cum in my sink.
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