After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
