is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Two words: nipple clamps
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