Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I AM VODKA MAN
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
