Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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