You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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