So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
