I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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