I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
