haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
