Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
