We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
