Cold hands, warm shart.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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