fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
as a side note pls kill me
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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