i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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