Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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