Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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