you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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