Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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