How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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