Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
