normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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