she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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