You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
