Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
