He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
