And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize