At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
