I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
im having a threesome with these popsicles
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Randomize
